First published March 23, 2007
This is a Lenten Reflection that we aired as part of the S+L Magazine in 2004. These couple of days, I’ve been thinking about loss and life, growth and God’s Grace, mercy and plan, so since it’s Lent, I thought it would be good to remember these words.
-Pedro
This morning my son came into our room, upset because something he had built had broken. That little boy used to be me – trying so hard to hold on, grab on, cling on to moments – trying so hard to stay a child forever – to not have to ever change… “It’s ok”, my wife, Sheri, said to him, “you can fix it. You can re-build it”. “No!” he cried, “it was hard work”. It was hard work.
And so it is… we work so hard to figure out who we are, where we fit in, in this world, and where we belong. We work so hard to figure out the rules but they keep on changing — the world keeps on changing — we keep on changing, no matter how hard we try to stay the same…
“Father, take this cup away from me… but not my will, but yours be done.”
Growing up was full of endings and beginnings: winters and springtimes, leaving home, going to university, finding work, getting married having children… Children who continually take me right back to where I started… Children who continually remind me that I am not perfect, that I need help — that I need God…
“Father, into Your hands I commend my Spirit…”
And every day life is full of mini-struggles: mini-desert experiences, mini-agonies in the garden, mini-crucifixions, mini deaths — deaths that are oh so necessary to bring forth new life.
“Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”
And how can we teach our children this? How can we help to make it easier for them? Just when they begin to feel at home, we uproot them by send them to a new school. How can we help them feel safe and at the same time help them accept that change is inevitable — change is necessary…
“It’s ok”, I said, “you needed to put it away anyway.” “But it was hard work!” he said, crying now. “You need to take it apart so you can build new things,” Sheri said.
It’s the taking apart that is so painful, so scary. And I am just now beginning to understand that I am not ever me at any given moment — rather, I am always changing. This is what is hard to teach: that life is change, change is growth, growth is love, love is God, and God… God is life.
“It was hard work,” he said, again and again, crying as we held him. That’s all we could do: help him feel safe — giving him a bit of strength for the journey that is to come.
“It was hard work,” I said, “Come, let’s build a new one” and with that, despite the little death that had just happened a new life was begun…
First published March 16, 2007
If you didn’t give up going to the movies for Lent, here are two suggestions:
I just saw a great film: Bridge to Terabithia. What can I say without giving it away? It is a wonderful, fun, meaningful tale of friendship and hope, faith and despair, kindness, compassion, loss and growth. It is not a religious film. I don’t even know if the author of the book or the film makers intended it to be so, but it left me feeling the same way I do after a meaningful spiritual experience. I felt the same way after watching another film many years ago: Before Sunrise. In it, two strangers meet on a train in Europe and spend the night together while waiting for the next train. But don’t get me wrong: they don’t ‘spend the night together’ in the way that expression is often used. Instead, they talk and walk and get to know each other. One may think that doesn’t make for much in a film, but for me, it was very much the kind of experience that makes us grow. Plus, it’s a film with no profanity, no nudity and no violence. Imagine that!
I recommend everyone to go see Bridge to Terabithia or wait for the DVD to come out. It is a definite must for all kids ages 11-13. But parents, make sure you go with them; there may be lots to talk about afterwards. If you liked Narnia and How To Eat Fried Worms, you’ll love this one.
Another film that just came out in the U.S. and England is: Amazing Grace. This film tells the story of William Wilberforce, the Member of Parliament who was responsible for putting an end to slavery in England. It is also the story of the hymn, since Wilberforce was inspired by the song’s author and former slave trader John Newton. I just found out that the film opens in Canada on Friday, March 23. I’m not sure if it will show in many theatres but it is distributed by Odeon Films. Go check it out.
Amazing Grace is one of those films that was made with the purpose of spreading the Gospel. Although it isn’t part of the Hollywood Machine and doesn’t have a blockbuster budget, this is part of the trend started by Mr. Gibson with the Passion of the Christ. Movies like this provide a chance for Hollywood execs to make money while the Good News is still spread. But that means that we, you and I, have to fill the seats. So, when Amazing Grace is released, go see it the first weekend it is out. That will ensure that it will continue to stay in the theatres and that other faith-related films will continue to be made.
Happy movie-viewing!
PEDRO
First published March 2, 2007
Hope many of you had a chance to watch the Catholic Focus episode on the permanent diaconate the other night (if you missed it, it’s on Saturday, March 3rd at 7pm E-T). Can I say that it was a real pleasure to host that episode? Perhaps I need to explain myself.
When I was growing up in Panama I was very involved in my Parish. (Remember my last blog entry when I mentioned my first meaningful spiritual experience, which led me to be part of a youth group and a youth choir?) I was in Church from around 3pm on Saturday, practicing for Mass, we played the Saturday 6pm Mass and then returned the next morning for the Sunday 10am Mass. I did this every weekend for four years, until I left to come to Canada.
One day, one of the most active parishioners, a doctor, announced that he was going to Mexico for a year to further his studies. I didn’t really think much of it. It’s not like he was my best friend or anything. His sister was in the choir and sometimes he played with us. Mostly I remember him singing the psalm. He would get up there with his guitar and intone the psalm from the ambo with his guitar. He also taught me to play the congas (but that’s another story). The year went by and he returned and the next thing I know, he is putting on vestments for Mass. But he was married! He then proceeded to assist the priest during the Mass. I didn’t really know he was assisting, it sure looked like he was concelebrating, especially when he read the Gospel and he preached the homily. I was confused. Then I found out that he had been ordained a deacon and that deacons could be married men. Ever since that day, the permanent diaconate has been in my heart.
Fast-forward to the present day. I’m in my parish, St. Elizabeth Seton in Newmarket, minding my own business, and there are two new deacons. They are married men. I remembered that guy in Panama. So I thought I’d find out more about the permanent diaconate. That’s how I met Deacon Bert Cambre, Director of Deacons for the Archdiocese of Toronto, who was one of the guests on the show.
I truly believe that the permanent diaconate is the Church’s best kept secret. Most people have never heard of this program. And there are many men out there (you could be one of them) who would make great deacons. Not only does the deacon get to assist with the liturgy and sometimes proclaim the Gospel and preach, but they get to minister to the most needy in the community. But they are not just chaplains, or counselors or pastoral care workers – they are ordained ministers of the Church. That means they’ve received the Sacrament of the Holy Orders. How cool is that!
So… I hope that perhaps a seed has been planted in your heart. Many parishes now are in the midst of a “Called by Name” program, in which we are invited to submit the name of someone whom we think would be a good priest, brother, sister or deacon. These names are given to your pastor and then he approaches these people to talk about a possible religious vocation. While it may seem unwelcome (I don’t want anyone submitting my name to no pastor!), you can always say you’re not interested. But from what I hear, most people have considered the call, but for many reasons have been hesitating. So this is a good and gentle kick in the pants. Plus, don’t underestimate the Holy Spirit. If you are being called and not paying attention, this is a good way to get your attention.
I am not going to submit any names to my Pastor, but I am committed to letting every married man know about the Permanent Diaconate Program. While it doesn’t exist in every diocese, it does exist in many. Just contact your diocesan office and find out. It may be the thing for you.
PEDRO
First published February 19, 2007
Friday night I had the greatest pleasure of attending a meeting of a pre-teen youth group at Holy Cross Parish in Georgetown, Ontario. After the almost two-hour drive (I didn’t think Georgetown was that far!) I can’t think of a better way to end the week.
Let me tell you a bit about this group of wonderful kids: Their group is called “J.U.S.T. Fridays”, which stands for Jesus Uniting Students Together Fridays. They meet for an hour and a half, every two weeks and do all the usual stuff youth groups do. Our get together Friday night dealt with the topic of Saints and we sang songs and shared. The week before, they baked heart-shaped rice-crispy squares (except they were not squares, they were heart-shaped – get it?), for their Valentine’s Day Parish event.
It reminded me of another group I had the pleasure to meet earlier in the school year: The Saints and Rosary Club from St. Edmund’s Catholic School in Mississauga, Ontario. These kids get together during recess every Friday and pray the Rosary. How cool is that! On this particular occasion, they came on a field trip to S+L and we had a super time, including, of course praying the Rosary. (Which reminds me to tell you that we are always happy to have youth groups or school groups come and hang out with us.) These kids are between grades one and six (if I remember correctly).
And J.U.S.T. Fridays kids are between grades five and eight (although I saw some younger kids there). And this is what my point is: Don’t wait until your kids are in their teens to get them in a youth group. You have to start earlier.
I was 12 when I had my first powerful spiritual experience. We had a new priest in our Parish, who wanted to start youth ministry, and so he invited all youth to a weekend retreat (another great suggestion if you’re looking for one, don’t be afraid, if you need help let me know). So of course, my mother packed us three kids and sent us along. I think I was the second youngest of the group. Suffice it to say that the retreat was of a charismatic nature and I was witness to tongues, slaying in the spirit and prophecies (none of which I found weird or scary) and many other really cool activities, as well as adoration. Can I say that I was hooked? (Another point, don’t waste time doing YMCA-type activities. If the kids want to play street hockey or volleyball, or go skating, they can join the Y. They join a Church youth group to get what the Church has to offer – that doesn’t mean that recreational activities are bad. Just don’t make that the focus. Kids are coming to you because they want meaning and spirituality. Don’t be afraid to give them that. And I don’t mean it has to be Charismatic, but it has to be Catholic.) Out of that weekend, we ended up with a youth group and a youth choir. By the time I was older and rebellious, it was too late, I was in and won over.
As an adult, I was a volunteer with the Children’s International Summer Villages (www.CISV.ca), a secular organization that seeks to promote peace and international understanding by bringing children and youth from different countries together. The village is for 11 yr. olds. Why? Because that’s the age to start them if you want to break down prejudices and build bridges. At that age kids still are impressionable but have not yet formed any biases or prejudices. It’s amazing how it works (plus the younger kids are less likely to refuse to go).
So, my suggestion to all you youth ministers struggling with your teen-age youth group: Invite younger kids. I say as young as nine. And mix them all together. The older kids can help with the younger ones. Everyone can have a “buddy” that is older (or younger). This creates a familial environment (in what family are all kids the same age?) and gives the kids great skills for going into the real world where you deal with people of different ages (besides kids are less likely to get into mischief if they are mixed because the older kids want to be examples and the younger kids want to impress the older kids, especially if you have the buddy system). Of course, from time to time you have to have age-appropriate activities, but who is going to run the activities for the younger kids? The older kids. Trust me, it works.
So, all this to say: go for the younger kids. I said it last Friday to the group (and to Holy Cross’ pastor Fr. Dave), “if every Parish had a group like this, they would all have awesome youth groups” AND I went as far as saying (and I truly believe this), “there wouldn’t be any wars.”
Send me your comments. Love to hear from you.
PEDRO
deacon pedro 